 |
 |
||
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
|||
|
||||||||||
| |
|
|||
New
Mexico — Carlsbad
Well, you were trying to get to the famed Carlsbad caverns before they closed. But you didn’t, because they close really early in the non summer months. Because apparently there are thousands of bats living inside, and at around four in the afternoon they get a wild hair up their ass to fly to the surface like a bat out of what-have-you. So, you didn’t get to see the subterranean natural wonders of a limestone cavern. On the other hand, you didn’t swallow fifty bats as they rammed into your face on their way to the fresh air. So score yourself ahead on that one. |
 Those little blotchy freckles you can’t see are bats. |
While traveling the backcountry byways of the old southwest, I hope you remembered to bring your RV with you. Because, see, this here is RV Country. And if you’re not in an RV, you’ll find yourself trapped behind a convoy of a dozen RVs with no room to pass, inching toward the horizon at sub-barnacle speeds. Couples basking in their upper middle age are rolling around in these behemoths, struggling against their atrophied reflexes to steer their dreadnaught-class juggernauts around a soft curve without accidentally erasing the Whataburger drive-thru. So, bring an RV or bring a Tolstoy novel, because you’ll need something to read while you wait for an Iowan nonagenarian to negotiate the right turn into the Texaco. |
||
|
|
Llano
Estacado Meaning ‘staked plain,’ it’s called that because when the white man first traveled out this way, he found it useful to drive a stake into the ground at regular intervals to mark where he’d already been. Otherwise, he could wake up in the morning, look around at the panoramic view of 100 percent zilch, and forget which way forward was (navigation became much easier after the invention of the sun in 1853). These days, the stakes are joined by oil pumpjacks, which I guess are marginally more thrilling to the soul than clumps of dried out grass, and plus they beat the terrorism. |
|||
| Hobbs This affable oil town has seen better days - try finding a decent fast food chain restaurant! – but non corporate food is available, as are places to lay your weary head. The hotelier takes one look at you and says “I don’t usually do this, but…” Because you look “like a gentleman” in your t-shirt and jeans, he will give you the room with the broken electronic lock, to which only one key will gain entry. This marks the second time in three nights that you are exposed to the possibility of burning to death in a room fire while innkeepers nervously pace outside, unable to open the door. No problem, right? You don’t even smoke. But the picante sauce that came on that enchilada was awfully hot… |
||||
|
||||
 |
Destination:
Awesome
