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Horrible Accident Week is over, which is a total shame, because it would have been the perfect opportunity to discuss the officiating in the Super Bowl. Actually, now that I think about it, Myopia Week would have worked too. Here are the answers to this week’s sports questions. "So I just saw on SportsCenter that Marco Scutaro hit a grand slam for Venezuela in the Caribbean Series. WTF? I thought he was an Italian dude, like from Long Island or something.” Sent in by Frank S., Gages Lake, IL A: Nope. The Scoot is, in fact, from Venezuela. It’s an easy mistake to make, though -- he’s got kind of a Danny Terrio thing going on. I thought he was from Long Island myself, until I watched an A’s game and realized he wasn’t wearing any man-jewelry. "Has anyone’s arm ever come off while they were pitching?" Sent in by Charles T., Dentsville, SC A: Not that I know of, Chuck. But sometimes their arms break in really gruesome ways, so that the pitcher looks less like he’s throwing a ball and more like he’s emphatically waving a long sock containing an assortment of loose boards. Then he looks like someone curled up in the fetal position. "I hate the Steelers so I watched the Puppy Bowl II on Animal Planet. Three hours later, it was not at all clear who won. Was it the beagle?" Sent in by Jamie D., Philadelphia, PA A: The Puppy Bowl was a victory for stoned animal lovers everywhere. The only loser was that poodle, which totally got wailed on. And maybe the kittens in the halftime show, which were pretty clearly terrified by the confetti. |
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