Dear Target Demographic-

Revenue. That’s the name of the game. I cannot stress that enough. Revenue is what it’s all about.

Let me explain it to you like this: After a corporation stimulates growth, capital is applied as a lubricant to make it easy for them to insert their product offerings into the market, where marketing thrusts and movements within the market itself will eventually stimulate a hot, sticky explosion of revenue.

Sounds simple enough, right? Well, I used to think so... until I got into this crazy internet business. When I first took over here at Supermasterpiece, I figured it was going to be a piece of cake, but somehow I just couldn’t generate the revenue like I used to be able to. I tried everything: I initiated marketing drives, convened focus groups, streamlined workflow, created synergies, scaled back salary spending... nothing. No dice.

Then, just a few months a go, it struck me. It was time for a new direction, a new way of thinking about the World Wide Web. The Internet’s days as a free and global interchange of brave new ideas and unheard perspectives were numbered. I decided that I was going to take a new approach to running this website. I was actually going to try to use the Internet for strictly commercial purposes!

Thus was born a little something I like to call... Dot Commerce.

That’s why we’ve launched the brand new Supermasterpiece Store. While before, Supermasterpiece.com generated revenue indirectly by informing the consumer about our other division’s new products, such as our new robotics offerings, or our Easy Detatch Spacesuite Air Hoses, now I would leverage the awesome powers of the Information Superhighway to actual SELL PRODUCTS DIRECTLY TO THE CONSUMER!

I know it sounds crazy, but I have a funny feeling this idea is really going to take off. But of course, as the first company to ever take this innovative approach to the Net (or so we assume), I think we have a little leg up on the competition. Sorry suckers!

One other thing about revenue... If you don’t spend money, companies can’t generate revenue, and our whole system comes crashing down around us. That’s why it is vital... VITAL... that you go to the Supermasterpiece Store RIGHT NOW and purchase several tee shirts. Our very way of life depends on it.

Our great nation is counting on you. Do the right thing.

Sincerely,

Chris Messick
Chief Executive Officer
Supermasterpiece Industries